Surviving Love and Loss



I personally have a very poor sense of time and schedules. Chris was much better. I think she did research and discovered that there was an optimum time and day to publish the blog… something about connecting with your readership?



I’ve never been good with time.

Chris would ask me what time

            it was.


And if I said “about…”

She would want to know

            the exact time.


It made her feel secure



I’ve never been good with destinations.

Chris would want to know

            where we were going.

And if I said” this way or that…”

She would want to know

            the exact destination.


It made her feel secure



I’ve never been good with planning.

Chris like charts and lists and schedule.


It made her feel secure



And then one day

She discovered it didn’t matter

            how well you planned

Things had a way of changing.

 It made her feel insecure not knowing…


And then one day

She realized it didn’t matter

She accepted that.IMG_1175

And it made her feel secure again





Today as part of my preparation, I walked around Elk Lake outside Victoria with a friend. It is a beautiful trail in the forest. Shady paths with open views of the water. Runners, couples, mothers pushing prams, seniors and some fool with an 18lb pack wondering what the heck he had in mind when he said, “I am going to do this.”

I am excited and apprehensive and concerned about weight. I have been told that a lesson the Camino offers is the opportunity to discover how little we aIMG_1178 (1)ctually need in this life. What extra weight do we carry down our own personal “roads”? What can we leave behind? Perhaps it is time to let go of the extra cares and concerns?

So when a friend offered me a book to take, I cringed (it weighs over 350grams!).

Do I accept and accidentally leave it behind? Or do I soldier it through and carry the weight?


I opened The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief and read…

“It was through the dark waters of grief that I came to touch my unlived life… There is some strange intimacy between grief and aliveness, some sacred exchange between what seems unbearable and what is most exquisitely alive. Through this, I have come to a lasting faith in grief.”

Francis Weller

I knew that I would take this book with me and I would read from it every day. What else do we really need in life but the warm and comforting memory of a friend and fellow traveler?

I have no false expectations for my journey. I do not believe in fate, although I do believe in coincidence and synchronicity. I believe we are united and part of a greater whole.

Never one to take the “safe” path, I have always been a risk taker (perhaps impulsive), supported in my belief that everything would work out the way it was supposed to… Everything was at it should be. Why else would I be “here” if I hadn’t been where I had been? All is as it will be.

Life is full of possibilities and different story lines. We are creating our life every day. Some of our choices were not well thought out and we should have chosen otherwise… But we didn’t and we are here where we are because it is the absolutely “right” place to be. …and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.


“We must learn the art and craft of grief, discover the profound ways it ripens and deepens us. While grief is an intense emotion, it is also a skill we develop through a prolonged walk with loss. Facing grief is hard work…. It takes outrageous loss.This precisely what we are being called to do.”


Francis Weller






I could be repeating myself but this was one of Chris’ favourite recipes. So here for anyone who missed it the first (or second time?)

Creamy Mushroom Soup

  • Prep time:
  • Cook time:
  • Total time:
  • Yield: Serves 6 to 8
  • Difficulty: easy
  • Recipe type: -A recipe from the creative minds of Chris and Wendy-


  • 17 oz. potatoes, peeled and rough chopped
  • 1 lb. mushrooms, rough chopped (reserve 3-4 for garnish)
  • 2 celery stocks, rough chopped
  • 1 onion (small to medium), rough chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, crushed
  • 1 litre mushroom broth
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 2 Tbsp. vegan margarine
  • Garnish
  • 3-4 mushrooms, thin sliced
  • Parsley, sprigs or minced
  • A small dollop of vegan margarine


  1. Sauté chopped onion and celery with crushed garlic in margarine for 3-4 minutes or until onions appear translucent.
  2. Rough chop mushrooms and add to onions and celery. Sauté for 5 to 6 more minutes. Set aside.
  3. Place chopped potatoes and mushroom broth in a medium to large saucepan 4 litres? And allow to come to a boil.
  4. Add sautéed onions, celery and mushrooms to broth. Turn down heat and let simmer for 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft.
  5. Turn off heat and add almond milk.
  6. Place in blender and blend thoroughly.
  7. Serving:
  8. Garnish with mushrooms and parsley.
  9. Serve with vegan cheese and bread.
  10. Storage:This soup will store for a week in the fridge. Reheat when you are ready.

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